Scotty and Chekov Versus the World
by TrappedInWonderland
Summary: When Scotty decides that he and Chekov will be spending a portion of their shore leave together, things go a bit wrong. Rated for safety.
1. Press Start

**The prologue of what I hope is a funny tale of this one time Chekov and Scotty took a vacation together! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.**

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He was seated in a comfortable chair near the window, watching the snowfall through the glass calmly. The scene had an almost hypnotic effect, lulling him into an ease that he hadn't felt in days. It was nice to finally relax, but he knew that the calm would soon subside. He and Scotty had to explain why they were where they were.

Chekov sighed, tearing his attention away from the Russian cityscape and refocused on his friends and colleagues. They were waiting patiently, finding different ways of busying themselves in the cozy hospital room. He cleared his throat, and they all turned to look at him.

"I zhink eet ees time ve explained vhy ve are all here." Chekov began nervously, looking to Scotty for back up.

"And we may as well start at the beginning. So settle in and get ready for a long story." Scotty finished.

* * *

When the captain unexpectedly announced shore leave, Pavel's first reaction was excitement. Sure he loved the Enterprise and everything in her, but it was nice to experience a change of scenery and breathe fresh air. Shore leave was something to celebrate, but after a day or two of trying to make plans to go home and failing miserably, he wasn't exactly excited.

His babushka would be happy to see him, but he could only really stay for a day or so. Hospitals weren't very welcoming to extended stays unless you were a patient. So he made plans to spend two days in his beloved Russia with his babushka before returning to the apartment he and the Captain kept. Though the apartment was his home, he knew that Bones was planning on inhabiting that space for the duration of leave.

Pavel didn't dislike the doctor, but he was loathe to trespass on someone's private relaxation time. He placed great value in privacy and hated taking it away from anyone. He knew McCoy would probably have no objections to sharing the apartment, after all he was a guest staying in Pavel's home, he was raised to be polite.

So with a sigh, he made the arrangements and took off to inform McCoy that the he would officially be crashing quiet time. He was on his way to the sickbay when he slammed into someone else, sending them both to the floor.

"Laddie, you alright?" Scotty asked, hurriedly righting himself.

"Fine, Meester Scott. Sorry for ze collision." Chekov apologized.

"Not a problem. Now tell me what's on that mind of yours." Scotty pressed, crossing his arms and staring him down with a sagely expression.

"Eet is nothing, honestly. I'm just…not so happy with my shore leawe plans." Chekov shrugged.

"And why not? I thought you were visitin yer grandma?" Scotty asked.

"I am, but only for two days. I can't afford to stay any longer and ze hospital vouldn't like me hanging around. I hawe no other family in ze area that I can wisit or stay vith. I'll be spending the rest of it at my apartment." Chekov rubbed his arm shyly.

"And why is that a problem?" Scotty coaxed.

"Because, Doctor McCoy is staying zere while ze Keptain wisits his family. I don't really like intruding on priwate time, and I know he has been looking forward to it." Chekov spilled.

"Well then this just won't do. You head back to your quarters, lad. Old Montgomery Scott will solve this problem." Scotty beamed.

"But Meester Scott I can't let you pay for anything it would be unethical sir—" Chekov objected.

"No. None of that now lad. Run along now, off with ye." Scotty shooed, ushering him back into the turbolift.

"But—" Chekov continued to protest, only to sigh when the door shut in his face.

He let his head fall against the cool metal of the door with an audible thunk and closed his eyes.

"I'm doomed." He muttered to himself.

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**Just a little story that came from the depths of my mind. I have no idea how long this will be, probably about five chapters. This is a humor story, so please keep an open mind with characterization and certain events! I'll take any suggestions you may have, and maybe even a request! Please feel free to point out any mistakes as I do not have a beta. **


	2. Prologue and Tutorial

**This chapter is a bit longer, due to the fact that I may take a little while to get chapters out after this. As a college student with a full time job I have tons of other responsibilities. I promise that the next chapter will be up in about two weeks though. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/favorited/and subscribed! Your support means a lot!**

**Side Note: When Chekov's accent is not transcribed he is speaking in Russian.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek  
**

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Chekov went on to Russia as planned, with only a cryptic message from Scotty that he was staying with Bones until the kid returned to San Francisco. Pavel had shrugged and decided to enjoy himself while he had the chance. He wasn't sure what Scotty was planning, but it was sure to be exciting and not very relaxing.

He arrived in St. Petersburg early, eager to start his visit with his grandmother. It was snowing lightly, blanketing the city in a beautiful layer of white. He breathed in deep, loving the slight sting of cold air in his lungs. It was the feeling of home. The Russian air was crisp and cold, and with proud steps he made his way to the automobile rental area.

Soon the eighteen year old was behind the wheel of a sleek and unassuming vehicle and on his way to his hotel. The drive through the city was wonderful, memory aiding him as he made his way through the streets and traffic. Once he was checked in and his bags stowed away in his room he picked up his grandmother's favorite dish along with his own from a small café and made his way to the hospital.

It was one of the best, his father may have been absent in his son's life but he was sure to take care of his mother. He entered the sterile building with a smile directed at the elderly nurse on duty. She returned it and quickly filled out his visitors passes.

"Visiting family?" she asked in smooth Russian.

"Yes, ma'am. My grandmother." Chekov nodded proudly.

"She's a lucky woman, to have such a pleasant grandson. Handsome too." The nurse praised with a smile.

"Thank you." Chekov replied with a light blush.

He took his pass and clipped it to his shirt and entered the lift to his desired floor. Within seconds he was in front of room 3253, her room. He swept in with a smile, pleased to find her awake and waiting for him.

"Pasha." She greeted with the warm smile that was the very essence of his childhood.

"Grandmama." He cried, setting the food down before gently embracing her.

He took a moment to really look at her, finding her hair done in a neat twist, her eyes weary but happy, and dressed in a warm nightgown and sweater.

"They are treating you well?" he asked seriously.

"Yes, Pasha. Your father makes sure of that." She answered.

He smiled, happy to simply be in her presence. She was warm and soothing and everything he had needed recently. The constant pain from losing his mother was swept away in her gentle hands.

"My little boy." She whispered, cupping his cheek and smiling.

"It's good to see you. I brought lunch, I hope you're hungry." He said eagerly, happy to please her.

"Yes, yes. Let's eat Pasha, and you can tell me all about your life in the stars." She beamed.

"Of course!" he exclaimed, setting out their meals and settling into a comfortable chair near her bed.

"So tell me about this Captain you write about so often." She suggested.

"The captain is a very honorable man. Very brave and daring. He has saved us from disaster many times." Pavel replied instantly.

"And your friends? What are they like?" She asked, a happy gleam in her eyes.

"Hikaru Sulu is the pilot of the ship; we sit next to each other. He knows a lot about plants and can even fence. He's a good cook as well, but not nearly as good as me and will never compare to you." He smiled.

"Of course not, now go on." She ordered, sipping something that may or may not have been allowed in the hospital.

"We are very good friends. The captain is good friends with the ship's doctor, Mr. McCoy. He's rather surly and grumpy but he cares about us. He's very good at what he does. And then there is Commander Spock—he's half Vulcan—and Ms. Uhura. They're together and very much in love. The Commander doesn't say much, but he understands a lot of my theories. Ms. Uhura talks to me in Russian when I'm homesick. She's very caring, almost like the mother of the ship. But that spot is taken by Mr. Scott." Chekov laughed.

"She sounds lovely Pasha, tell me about this Mr. Scott." She prodded.

"Mr. Scott is the Chief Engineer. He's from Scotland and has some crazy ideas—he said vodka was soda pop so I told him scotch was invented by an old lady from Leningrad. But he is a good engineer, very good at what he does. He's teaching me a lot about the ship." Chekov summarized.

"They all sound lovely, Pasha. I'd like to meet them one day if I could." She took his hand in her own, the soft skin so comforting.

"I'd like that." He smiled, willing away silly tears that had no business ruining the happy scene.

His time with his grandmother seemed to fly by, and he found himself leaving his babushka much too soon. Their goodbyes weren't tearful, he couldn't do that to her, but it was full of hugs. He melted into her soft, round arms and breathed in the scent that was uniquely her own. Chocolate, a hint of tobacco, and cold winter nights tinged with the warmth of a good old fashioned fire.

"Be good, Pasha. I love you, and thank you for coming to visit me. Continue to make me proud!" she whispered into his ear lovingly.

"I will, call me if you need anything!" he whispered back.

And then he was gone. On his way to San Francisco and far away from her, with a bottle of prized vodka tucked in his bags. He missed her already.

* * *

His apartment was lively when he returned, Bones and Scotty having turned on some sort of sporting event and both yelling instructions at the screen.

"I don't zhink zhey can hear you." Pavel chuckled as he closed the door, shrugging off his thick coat and tossing his fur cap into the hall storage area.

"Laddie! Good t'have ya back. Come on in and pour yourself a drink!" Scotty called pleasantly before promptly refocusing on the game.

Chekov slipped his things into his room before coming back out into the living room wearing a black long sleeved shirt and dark jeans. He padded into the kitchen on socked feet and pulled out his customary tumbler. He had soon prepared his drink and was padding into the living area to plop on the couch. He settled into the plush armchair and set his drink and bottle next to him on a side table.

With a sigh he propped his feet up on the coffee table and glanced at whatever game the two men were watching.

"Vhat is zhis?" he asked, jutting his chin in the direction of the screen.

"Soccer."

"Football."

The replies were in unison and the two men didn't bother arguing about it. Instead they focused intently on the image and continued to coach couchside.

"I'm sure zhat zhey are wery grateful for zhe vords of visdom. But please do not anger zhe neighbors." Chekov pleaded with a laugh.

"They'll get over it." Was Scotty's firm reply, downing his scotch before bellowing at the game. "What are you doing you bloody idiots!"

Bones let out a cheer as his team scored on Scotty's, expressing more happiness in a few minutes than Chekov had ever seen.

"How do you plan on spending shore leave, Dr. McCoy?" Chekov asked absently, eyes on the screen.

"Actually, I got the ex-wife to agree to let my daughter come visit. I hope you don't mind me passing off this place as my own. Makes a better impression than the usual hotel room." Bones shrugged with a small smile. "And don't call me doctor when we aren't on duty."

"Zhat's vonderful! And I do not mind at all. I hope zhe two of you hawe fun, Mr. McCoy." Chekov said genuinely.

"We'll we surely will, isn' that right laddie?" Scotty said ruefully, clapping Chekov on the shoulder.

"I don't know Meester Scott. You hawe yet to tell me vhere exactly it is ve are going." Chekov replied.

"That's part of the fun!" Scotty exclaimed.

"If you say so." Chekov mumbled, downing the rest of his drink and settling further into his seat.

He sighed quietly and raised his glass to his lips.

"I'm doomed." He said softly, downing the burning liquid in one go.

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**Thanks again for your support! Hope you enjoyed the chapter and can't wait to post the next one! If you see any mistakes, _please_ point them out- I do not have a beta and would like to fix anything I missed!**


	3. Player One and Two

**So guess who procrastinated on homework and wrote a chapter instead. Even if it is a filler chapter. Yeah this loser right here. Thanks to anyone who has reviewed/followed/favorited! And for the guest that asked- in this story Chekov is about 18. I imagine that that is a suitable drinking age and he should be able to enjoy his vacation. This takes place a few months after Into Darkness.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

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He understood Scotty wanting their destination to be a surprise, and in a way it was a sweet gesture, but he didn't like not holding on to his own ticket for the shuttle. It made him feel like a child, relying on Scotty to get them through security and check-in. He hated feeling like a kid; he was more of a man then most adults he knew.

But here he was, sitting in the terminal with the Chief Engineer of the enterprise at an ungodly hour of the morning. Scotty had only told him to pack for warm weather, which had clued him in that they were going somewhere south for the remainder of their shore leave. Though he didn't necessarily prefer the cold, Chekov was going to miss the San Francisco snow. Scotty was reading some new engineering journal that was causing quite the uproar within the community as Chekov poked at a muffin. They had about twenty minutes until their shuttle began boarding according to Scotty, and he was already bored with this vacation.

He felt kind of bad at that thought; Scotty had gone to a lot of trouble to make sure he enjoyed his leave, so he attempted to be a bit more grateful. He could have just been stuck in his room the entire time, envious of those who got to travel as he tried to keep out of McCoy's way.

Thinking back on the day before the young Russian smiled. Joanna McCoy had arrived in San Francisco yesterday afternoon and upon meeting Chekov and Scotty had promptly announced that she was going to spend the best week ever with the best dad ever. Scotty had the decency not to laugh at the light blush that covered McCoy's cheeks.

Joanna was downright adorable, and loved her father very much. While he was away, the six year old would be sleeping in Chekov's room. Bones had been adamant on giving her Kirk's and sleeping on the couch, but Chekov wouldn't have it. The two of them had set out early this morning as well, Joanna squealing something about a zoo and McCoy allowing her to drag him out the door.

Chekov was brought back to the present by Scotty hopping to his feet and scooping up his rucksack.

"Time to go, Laddie. They'll be boarding us right about now." Scotty said pleasantly.

"Of course, Meester Scott." Chekov replied, slinging his own backpack across his shoulders.

"Just Scotty, lad. We're on vacation after all!" the engineer smiled widely.

"Yes, Scotty." Chekov amended with a smile.

"Now seating first class passengers for shuttle 42 to—" the announcement was cut off by Scotty's hands covering the navigator's ears.

The boy almost laughed at the older man's insistence that their destination remain a surprise. He chose to withhold comment on the fact that Scotty had booked them first class seats when Chekov could barely afford a ticket to anywhere extravagant even in coach. Instead he quietly thanked the engineer for his generosity.

They settled into their lush seats with much enthusiasm, Chekov's trepidation concerning this trip melting away as boyish excitement took over. He bounced lightly in his seat as he watched the other passengers board.

"Vill you tell me vhere ve are going now?" he pleaded with his friend.

"Not yet, lad. You'll see when we've arrived." Scotty said with a smile.

Chekov groaned lightly and slumped back in his seat. He honestly had no patience for surprises. For as long as he could remember, he had never liked them. He preferred to be prepared for what he was to face, and surprises took that away from him. But maybe this time he could deal with it, it seemed important to Scotty that their destination remain a surprise, and they were friends after all.

Friends put up with things for other friends. He learned that particular gem of wisdom from McCoy one night over dinner. Jim had laughed for about an hour afterwards.

So Pavel put on his big boy pants and decided to suck it up. He relaxed into his seat and threw on a pair of nice headphones he had gotten as a gift from Kirk for his birthday a year or two ago. He switched on his music and let the melodies and voices relax him further. Scotty was buried once more in technical journals, so Chekov smiled as he lost himself in the rhythm and closed his eyes, tapping his fingers to the beat.

He was jolted awake sometime later by Scotty shaking him lightly. The engineer gave him a small smile as Chekov stretched and slid the headphones off to dangle around his neck.

"We're here laddie, welcome to Brazil." Scotty announced proudly, gesturing to the window.

"Brazil." Chekov repeated breathlessly, taking in the pristine beaches they were currently soaring over and the beautiful resort set not too far away from them.

"This is our vacation paradise. A small resort that is very popular in the galaxy, pretty hard to get a reservation here." Scotty said with a proud smile.

"How did ve get a reserwation here?" Chekov asked, dumbfounded.

He was no fool; he knew places like this were ridiculously expensive to visit for even one night. He couldn't take advantage of Scotty's generosity this way, and on his salary it would take years before he would be able to pay the engineer back. The guilt was starting to seep into the excitement, ruining the moment.

"Don't worry, lad. We didn't get a reservation. The Captain did." Scotty informed him.

"The Captain?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, Starfleet wanted to thank him for all of his hard work as a captain, and for dying for the cause— you don't really get dedication like that from everyone. So they offered him a five star vacation all expenses paid. But he wouldn't take it unless it was extended to all of us. So here we are." Scotty said with a grin.

"But ze Keptain is in Iowa and—" Chekov began.

"Yes, but he'll be joining us along with the others soon enough. Just don't tell Starfleet that he spent some of their money not spending it." Scotty said with an evil smirk.

Chekov laughed and gathered his things to depart the shuttle. The guilt he felt earlier was long gone; if anyone deserved a vacation on someone else's dime it was Kirk. And since his captain had fought for him to reap the benefits as well, he was going to reap them.

The warm air hit him as he exited the shuttle onto the landing deck and he felt as though it was melting away all of his troubles. His shoulders suddenly seemed lighter and soreness seemed to evaporate. He easily whipped out a pair of sunglasses someone had given him and settled them onto his nose. He stifled a laugh at Scotty's bright Hawaiian button up and straw hat that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Let's go check in." Scotty said with fervor, and Chekov couldn't help but be swept up in the excitement. This trip was going to be a blast, he could feel it.

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**Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks again to all supporters! Hopefully I'll be able to update in a few days!  
**


	4. Level One-FIGHT!

**So we have finally begun with the real story of Chekov and Scotty's crazy adventure! I am very excited to present you with the first non-background or filler chapter! Things are about to get cray-cray (excuse my use of atrocious slang but it was definitely neccessary I swear!) for our two main characters. Thanks to all those who reviewed/favorited/and followed!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek**

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Scotty was nothing if not efficient. Chekov had to admire his speed and directness when taking action. Within twenty minutes they were checked in, settled into their very spacious suite, changed out of their winter clothing into much lighter attire, and relaxed on the beach with drinks in their hands. Chekov was too busy melting into the very comfortable lounger he was settled in to compliment his friend. Scotty seemed to busy doing the same exact thing to care.

He sipped on his fruity drink; still reeling from the fact that Scotty had suggested they abandon their normal drinks of choice for something more in tune with their vacation spot. Usually, a different drink made Chekov nervous, but he decided to ignore that foreboding feeling and enjoyed the sweetness of the cocktail.

"So lad, tell me what you think." Scotty prompted in a mellow tone, head tilted back and eyes closed beneath his sunglasses.

"Wery relaxing, I'm impressed." Chekov admitted.

"I couldn't agree more." Scotty sighed happily, folding his hands behind his head and settling deeper into the plush cushion.

Chekov simply pulled his headphones over his ears and did the same. With the picturesque ocean before them, the sun just beginning to make its way down from its noon high, he felt better than he had in months.

Once the sun had disappeared with their drinks, Scotty and Pavel moved their relaxation indoors. They ate a wonderful dinner before making their way to the outdoor bar and ordering more fruity drinks to nurse as they traded stories from childhood.

Scotty spoke warmly of his many siblings and his loving parents, spinning tales of childhood idiocy and fast cars. Scotty seemed to be a magnet for trouble and a source of constant worry for his mother. But she took it all in stride and was proud of the man he had become.

"So tell me about your home life. What did the boy genius get up to when he wasn't gallivanting about the stars?" Scotty teased lightly.

Pavel smiled at the remark, easy with his friends poking fun at his age. He didn't mind the reminders of his youth when they came with smiles and loving eyes.

"My mother was the greatest voman I have ewer known, aside from my grandmother. Vhen I vas little she vould take me to all these museums and lectures. She knew right avay that I vas much smarter than I should be." Pavel laughed. "My brain got me in a lot of trouble as a kid. I am ashamed to admit I started a few fires with my eccentric attitude."

"Then we have something in common." Scotty laughed.

"My father always pushed me to do vell in sports. Eweryday ve vould run and train in the gym. He vas very athletic—the strongest man I knew. He vasn't wery happy vhen I accepted ze offer from Starfleet." Pavel admitted sadly.

Scotty's face fell at the boy's admission.

"Pavel, you do know that we are all very happy you are with us, right?" he asked.

"Of course!" he assured.

"Good. Because no matter what your father thinks, we are all incredibly proud." The elder man affirmed.

Pavel was silent for a moment before smiling warmly, "Thank you, Meester Scott."

The engineer returned the grin before knocking back his drink.

"Aw now isn't that just so sweet." A man from three chairs down crooned sarcastically.

He was very tan, with slick black hair and brown eyes. His accent was distinct, and from his lessons with Uhura he knew that it was Cuban. Chekov narrowed his eyes at the eavesdropper, never one to tolerate rudeness.

"The little baby had a bad home life but now he's all grown up and has friends." He laughed darkly.

Pavel tried to brush his comments off, they were harmless really, but he didn't like the way the man was swaggering towards them with his drink lazily hung in his hand. The stranger roughly threw his arms around both of the Starfleet officers, spilling some of his drink on Pavel's arm. The boys lip curled in disgust as the liquid began to dry in a sticky mess on his skin. He tried to shrug the inebriated individual off, but the man refused to budge.

"Honestly I'm happy for you. It's time you Russians stopped sticking your noses up in the air and make some friends." He slurred.

"Laddie, I think you better leave." Scotty warned, sending a sidelong glance at his companion.

Pavel's jaw clenched when the man brought up his heritage. He was a very proud Russian, hating whenever anyone insulted his homeland.

"We used to be allies you know? Until you pussies backed out and ran home like the dogs you are." The man sneered, stepping back and polishing off the rest of his drink.

Pavel's hand clenched tightly around his glass, knuckles turning white. He glared ahead, very aware of the hand Scotty had on his arm, pinning him to the bar.

"You Scots are no—" the drunkard had no chance to finish his comment.

Scotty was up, drink crashing to the ground along with his stool as Pavel flew at the instigator. His fist connected solidly with his enemy's jaw, knocking him off his feet and into a table. Chaos broke out rather quickly, punches flying along with bodies, and Pavel was separated from Scotty. He avoided several attackers with ease, searching for Scotty in the fray.

He found his friend tangled with two other men, one of them held under his arm and the other receiving a solid kick to the abdomen. Scotty met Pavel's gaze and smiled a bit ruefully, his eyes crazed.

"One moment laddie, let me tie up loose ends then we can split." Scotty called, punching the man he held under his arm and dropping him unceremoniously to the ground.

The two of them ran like hell through the mob, shoving those that stumbled into their path roughly back into the fight. They stumbled into an empty hallway and heavily leaned on the wall. Scotty laughed weakly, Pavel joining in. Soon they were both helplessly caught in a fit of deep laughter. It abruptly ended when Scotty reached into his back pocket, fishing for his key and instead pulling out the managed remains of his universal translator. The only one they had brought.

Pavel sighed, this new development was not good at all. In a way, they were doomed.

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**Oh no things happened! If you spot any mistakes, let me know so I can fix them! If anyone who follows this story is a reliable beta, and wouldn't mind helping me out with this and other Star Trek pieces I have planned, drop me a message and we can talk about working as a team!**


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